WATCH: Diver narrowly avoids getting eaten by shark

Diver Kerry Daniel was spearfishing off the coast of Australia near the Great Barrier Reef when a bull shark attacked him from the murky depths. Instead of accepting his fate and resigning to a watery grave, Daniel channeled the power of Poseidon himself and shot that bastard in the mouth. Get fucked, shark!

If you’re thinking, “man, that shark is crazy is fast,” you’re right. Some sharks can swim twice as fast as the fastest person sprinting. It’s miraculous that Daniel had the presence of mind to realize what what was happening and react accordingly. You would have been food for sure.

Bull sharks can grow up to 13 feet long and weigh 700 pounds. One of their favorite foods, besides fish, turtles, birds, dolphins, and terrestrial mammals is other bull sharks.

That’s peak savagery. Eating your own species. I’m all about sustainability and protecting animals, but maybe we should think about turning all the sharks into shark fin soup. I hear it’s supposed to be good for you.

But seriously, the people I know personally who are most concerned about sharks are all ocean lifeguards.

no-sharks

Before you boycott the ocean, remember that shark attacks are rare. According to the International Shark Attack File, 96 people were attacked by sharks in 2015, resulting in six deaths. Now that 96 people figure comes with asterisk because their data only reflects unprovoked shark attacks. But if you provoke a shark, you probably deserve to get bit.

To recap, here are the important shark facts:

  • Sharks can swim super fast
  • If a shark comes at you, shoot it in the mouth
  • Less than 100 people are attacked by sharks per year
  • Less than 10% of people attacked by sharks die

Sharks are nothing to lose sleep over, but it never hurts to keep a spear gun handy.