Time to flip the script on baseball’s biggest problem

I’m teaching my kid to flip the bat.

I’ve been showing my three year old how to hit off a T. Every time I hit one hard, I flip the bat and run the bases. The first time he nailed one, he flipped the bat, too. I didn’t stop him; a big goofy punk rock grin on my face.

If you cringed when you read that first paragraph, bear with me for another minute and I’ll explain why.

First let me address why you cringed; you are a sports fan. Fan is short for fanatic. You don’t see things clearly when it comes to sports, you can’t, you’re frantic, biased, out of control, and truth blind.

The Bat Flip. Sports fans hate to be wrong and hate to see their team lose. If you truly hate to see your team lose, you will most likely be upset with this article.

True sports fans project their hatred for all things real life through their teams. Excuses on why athletes should act this way or that, that they are role models, that they get paid all this money and that’s why they should be more serious is nothing but jealousy.

No, you could not have made any professional sport even if you would have tried harder. No, the college scouts that came to see you play weren’t from a D1. No, making a lot of money doesn’t mean you’re absolved from doing stupid things.

Athletes get paid that much because there aren’t a lot of them. That’s all. If you don’t like what they get paid, stop watching because you’re contributing.

Or, simply stop taking it so seriously. It’s just entertainment and should be taken literally no different than a movie. You’re getting upset about something that kind of doesn’t exist.

Here’s what I mean; the only reason you, the sports fanatic, are getting so upset about broken rules, written or unwritten, is because you put too much stock in it. You yourself have created the seriousness in which you take these games and then you get upset about it.

Don’t do that. Just watch them as if they’re a television show or a YouTube video that is slightly amusing. If your team loses, who cares? You don’t get anything or lose anything if they win or lose, unless of course you’re a betting man, but you should never bet on your own team, because you’re biased and you’re probably going to lose anyway.

If some twenty-something mashes the stitching off a ball and in his excitement and bravado flips the bat around as it falls to the ground, take it as entertainment. This probably means there’s going to be some beaning later, maybe even next season; it’s drama, it’s excitement, and maybe there’s a bench clearing too.

Don’t get mad, rant on Facebook, thread yourself on Twitter, or shake your entitled head in the stands. Just enjoy it.

If everyone started flipping the bat when they went yard it would become so common that no would get mad anymore. So, what I’m trying to do is save your ire for something more worthwhile, like tax reform, medical insurance, and public schooling.

I’m raising a bat flipper to make the world a better place, one angry, jealous sports fanatic at a time.