Formula One Champagne Bottles are $3000 a Pop – Because Why Not

Formula One’s newest official sponsor is Carbon Champagne, in carbon fiber-laced bottles that really put the ostentation of the sport front and center.

Sport sponsorship is on a whole other level. We can all understand the need for a sport to secure funding – and hey, companies love the marketing opportunity they get when their company logo and name are on the side of a winning car. We can certainly rationalize it, but there’s a limit. Formula One has announced that “premium” champagne maker Carbon will be the sport’s official champagne sponsor. Ooh la la.

Carbon’s “magnums” – as they call their bottles – were first sighted at the 2017 Monaco Grand Prix, but now all of us plebs can rejoice in knowing that the trial passed with flying colours, and the premier class of open-wheel racing will now have an official champagne sponsor.

Liberty Media have made it no secret that they’ve opened up the horizon to additional funding through official sponsors and suppliers, but the fact that one of the first to come walking through the door is a champagne brand should give us all cause for sitting back, putting our feet up, and letting out a little “lol”.

Really though, the bottles that will be used are estimated to run $3000 a pop. And before you get ahead of yourselves, it’s not because the liquor within has been excavated from an ageless crypt somewhere in Europe – it’s because each bottle is sleeved with a carbon (hurr hurr get it?) fiber coating. That’s right, because having champagne up on the podium isn’t enough – we’ve got to have the damn thing look like its ready to race too.

Over-spending and sports go hand in hand. If ever one wanted an example of capitalism gone awry, they’d have to look no further than many of the issues that plague Formula One: highly fluctuating team salaries compounded with little parity across the grid, and it’s no wonder that it’s a race about money. A Moneyrace? Holy shit. Someone call Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill.

The point is, there’s something inherently hilarious and equally sad about the amount of money needed for one bottle. And yet, equally, there’s the sport’s nonchalant attitude of “Yeah? So? It’s Formula One. Sit down and shut up.”

One could suppose that running a successful international phenomenon would be all the reason needed to justify such an occurrence, but it still comes off as hella kitschy. And in case you’re still on the fence over how to feel about it – don’t worry. Champagne Carbon will tell you exactly how to feel. Prepare to be elated as they bring you the latest in consumer media technology: a camera strapped to the bottle so you can see the podium finishers gulp down the bubbly liquid at a highly uncomfortable angle.

But, you know. At least now you’ll want to go out and drop three grand on a carbon-coated bottle of indigestion – right kids?