Rory McIlroy, Leprechauns & How Fox News Have Lost The Plot

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According to the Daily Mail, leprechauns are “small and mischievous, they’re the green-class little people who are synonymous with the Emerald Isle.”

Calling an Irishman a leprechaun just isn’t that nice. While it’s not like calling someone the “n-word”, it is clumsily cliched, dumb and not surprising that one of America’s most conservative networks, Fox News, would be guilty of using it to describe a particularly famous Irishman by the name of Rory McIlroy. 

As I create this piece at another ungodly hour of the day – and for that I apologise for brevity and typos – I feel oddly compelled to write Fox News a guide to leprechauns in hope that they might in fact understand how stupid their oganization – and Lisa “Kennedy” Montgomery – really are.
 

WHAT IS A LEPRECHAUN?

Leprechauns are a type of fairy, though it’s important to note that the fairies of Irish folklore were not Disneyfied creatures; they could be magical one day and murderous the next. Description does not fit Rory McIlroy.

a guide to leprechauns 1
 

WHAT DOES A LEPRECHAUN LOOK LIKE?

Leprechauns are often described as bearded old men dressed in green coats and buckled shoes, sometimes with a leather apron. They also wear a pointed cap and may be smoking a pipe. Description does not fit Rory McIlroy.
 

ARE LEPRECHAUNS TRICKSTERS?

Leprechauns are indeed roguish tricksters who cannot be trusted and will decide whenever possible. Folkorist Carol Roses offers a wonderful tale of leprechaun trickery:

“It concerned a man who managed to get a leprechaun to show him the bush in the field where his treasure was located. Having no spade [shovel], the man marked the tree with one of his red garters, then kindly released the sprite and went for a spade. Returning almost instantly he found that every one of the numerous trees in the field sported a red garter!” 

Description does not fit Rory McIlroy.
 

General Mills cereal
General Mills cereal

 

LEPRECHAUNS IN POP CULTURE

Lucky the Leprechaun who is the mascot of Lucky Charms is certainly the most famous leprechaun in pop culture. Warwick Davis, who stared in the hit film “Willow”, played a homicidal leprechaun in the “Leprechaun” horror film series.

In the United States, leprechauns appear commonly around St. Patrick’s Day, something that has angered Irishmen for decades.