Wikipedia was invented for funny football edits.
For example, we were once told that following his sacking from Reading FC, Brian McDermott was filmed performing an acoustic version of Bob Dylan’s song ‘Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door’ at a karaoke bar.
Part of me wants this to be true.
Anyway, this got me thinking; I wonder if footballers have ever given their own wikipedia pages a, shall we say, helping hand. And if so, what would they have written?
One line, and it would read: “Chat shit get banged”
Not long until that’s the most used phrase in the English language – Shakespeare will be so proud.
I Google’d ‘best ever footballer’ and it took me straight to www.cristianoronaldo.com – whilst you’re there, why not purchase my movie ‘Ronaldo’, a wonderful, self-deprecating story about a humble lad who never gave up on his dream.
PS: Fuck Messi.
Not Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.
Hope you’re reading this, Sir Alex?
Born: May 13, 1983?
How can I help?
In my spare time I like to watch beige paint dry or re-runs of Antiques Roadshow.