Falcao Reveals His Birthday Wishlist

The decline of Falcao is amusing, baffling and disappointing in equal measure. However, no matter how shit you’re, everyone deserves for their birthday wishes to come true, especially when it’s the big 30.

But what does the man who has enough money to buy a country wish for when blowing out his candles?

 

Happy birthday Falcao!

Posted by Chelsea Football Club on Tuesday, 9 February 2016

 

To Feel Loved Again

I remember when the Atletico Madrid fans used to chant my name, but now I’m just one poor shot away from becoming a meme.

Make the fans love me again, I beg you.

 

Source: FB Comment Pictures
Source: FB Comment Pictures

 

Goalscoring Boots

I can’t say for certain but I either left them in the boot of Geoffrey Kondogbia’s car or Joao Moutinho’s kitchen.

If it helps in your quest to find them, I know for certain that they aren’t in Manchester…actually, they aren’t anywhere in England.
 

 

Torres To Return To Chelsea

Life would be easier if the world of football had another donkey to make jokes about at Chelsea Football Club.


 

Spinach

I watch this programme sometimes about a man who develops superhuman strength when he eats spinach. Should I try that? I think I would like to.


 

One-on-One

I’m fed up with the embarrassing comparisons, therefore, I request a one-on-one with this man at Stamford Bridge:


 
I will also give the horse a game and show you all!