Van Gaal urges Manchester United to be “horny” for a victory against Midtjylland

SEE ALSO: Manchester United fans call their team f****** s*** after Midtjylland loss

To overturn Midtjylland’s humiliating 2-1 lead in the Europa League, Manchester United players have to want victory badly enough. So badly that it’s like an overwhelming lust they need to sate. Yep, that’s exactly how the Devils’ ever controversial manager phrases it during this conference and apparently, pep talks with the team.

“I was not a great player, as you know, but when I played for full stadiums I was always at my best,” he chided, “It is not a good signal for Manchester United.

“Most of the players shall be excited and it will be the match of their lives for most of them.

“It’s always the reason I say top teams have to cope with the resistance of their opponent.

“Desire, hunger, and a lot of times I use the word, horny.”

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He does concede that Manchester United’s startling lack of success recently may not be entirely, well, due to the players’ lack of libido. He’s been under intense scrutiny of late since United’s lamentable performance this season and all that negative press would be enough of soften anyone’s wood.

“I think maybe it can be an influence because there is a lot of criticism so it can influence them. But they also have to use their tools to ignore the criticism because that’s very important – not only the criticism of their manager, but also of themselves.

“That is also a means to prepare yourself always properly. It should not be an influencing subject.”

For their sake, we hope his rousing words will be just the aphrodisiac they need to enhance their performance.