The Champions League Is Set For A Major Change

Following the meeting between England’s ‘big’ five – you know, the ones in 3rd, 4th, 5th, 8th and 10th place – it has been revealed that it wasn’t over forming a European Super League but was in fact to discuss the following possibility:

The irony of Liverpool even discussing the future of the Champions League shouldn’t be lost on anyone – rumour has it that the cast of Home And Away have been contacted for advice regarding what Great Britain should do in regards to the European Union.

So, in order to make the biggest club competition in world football more exciting, the bigwigs’ plan is to ship everyone over to another country that doesn’t even participate in the competition and barely recognises football as a sport. Right.

 

Changes to the current Champions League format wouldn’t be such a bad idea, though – the bad idea is giving the power to the pricks in high places at Premier League clubs; I mean, you wouldn’t trust Ed Woodward to look after your goldfish whilst you’re on holiday, let alone revamp a whole tournament.

Pots

Sod all this avoiding of each other at the beginning.

Here’s what you do:

  • Get a big bowl
  • Pour all the balls into aforementioned bowl
  • Pick out teams

“Group A will consist of Barcelona, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich and Leicester City”


 

Get Rid Of Third Place Goes Into Europa League

It has reached a point where clubs are trying to finish fourth in their group rather than third once they realise they can no longer qualify. Embarrassing.

 


 

Ban This One Cliche

“There isn’t anything quite like a big European night at Anfield.”

More like, there’s no such thing as a big European night at Anfield anymore.

Unless a James Milner penalty has been redefined as ‘big’…