PSG Set To Break English Transfer Record To Replace Ibrahimovic

In your daily dose of bizarre transfer rumours, Paris Saint-Germain are reportedly interested in signing Liverpool’s Daniel Sturridge for an eye-watering £50million, which would make the former Manchester City striker the most expensive English footballer of all time.

The Ligue 1 champions are preparing for life after Zlatan Ibrahimovic. We assume I Am Zlatan would now say something like this:

“There is no life after Zlatan. Zlatan is life.”

Made up (probably)

 

…and apparently an injury-prone Daniel Sturridge is the man deemed capable of reproducing moments like this for the Le Parisiens…

SEE ALSO: El Hadji Diouf’s Latest Liverpool Rant Is Spectacular

Sturridge’s potential move abroad would be great for English football. There is often an argument that the failure of the Three Lions is partly to do with the fact very few England internationals go abroad and experience the beautiful game on the continent.

As great as it would be, it doesn’t make it any less wonderfully random! But it doesn’t quite better these five for randomness…

Steven Fletcher

Steven Fletcher joining Marseille was the best thing about any Deadline Day ever!

Colin Kazim-Richards

Colin Kazim-Richards Fenerbahce
Source: Fenerbahce

Of course one of the major sides in Turkish football, Fenerbahce, would want to sign a player who had just been relegated from the Premier League.

The greatest thing about this whole move, is that the former Sheffield United winger renamed himself Colin Kazim-Kazim, which is just such a fun name to say.

Kyle Lafferty

Basically a poor version of Peter Crouch. How’s that for underwhelming?!

After going from Burnley to Darlington to Glasgow, the Northern Irishman’s passport got randomly more exciting with a move to FC Sion – love it!

It’s the big striker’s next move after a season in Switzerland that really gets him a spot on the list, with a stint at then-Serie B side Palermo.

Fun fact: Lafferty only lasted one season with the Rosanero, with club president Maurizio Zamparini labelling him an “out-of-control womaniser” and that this lifestyle forced the club to sell him.

Dale Jennings

Just one name in a long list of young footballers who were overhyped, pushed through the media hyperbole machine and never heard of again.

The sad thing for the former Tranmere Rovers player is that, no matter what happens in his career now – not much by the sound of things, seeing as he’s reportedly too overweight to get into the MK Dons side – he has already achieved what he will be remembered for: Bayern Munich signing him.

Bayern bloody Munich. I mean, like, wtf, man!!!

Ravel Morrison

Apparently looking like you’ve come from the set of Shameless gets you a highly random move to Serie A giants, Lazio!

Emile Heskey

 

Emile Heskey Newcastle Jets
Source: Daily Mail

The news of Emile Heskey’s move to Newcastle Jets was just too perfect. And was from way out of left field.

For some reason, I actually had this image as my phone screensaver for a while. So, yeah, I’m single.

Our survey says…

Would Daniel Sturridge be a success at PSG?

He’d smash Ligue 1

He’d successfully be injured all the time