Mario Gotze Is Clearly Warming Up To The Idea Of Joining Liverpool

Daniel Blazer
Daniel Blazer
Daniel Blazer
Managing Editor

Source: Getty Images
Source: Getty Images

 
SEE ALSO: Jose Enrique Has Rejoined Liverpool Just Days After Release
 
Mario Gotze being linked to Liverpool purely because Jurgen Klopp is there has always felt a little bit like lazy journalism. Because why would a guy who has scored the winner in a World Cup Final, and plays for the third biggest team in world football, want to join Liverpool?

Anywho, logic has clearly failed and the rumour of Gotze’s impending arrival upon Anfield won’t die down. So much so, it is now being reported that Gotze has been asking about what life is like upon Merseyside.

Well, Mario, lad; here’s exactly what you can expect…
 

TVs Are Permanently On The History Channel

 

 
And you can’t turn them off, Mario; you have to continually be reminded that Liverpool were good once upon a time.

 

Divock Origi Is A Future Ballon d’Or Winner

 


 
Even though you’ll very quickly realise that Origi is bang average, Mario, just keep those thoughts to yourself. He’s quality, okay!
 

Kolo Toure Is The Chef

 


 
Now, Mario, I cannot stress this enough. Do NOT eat anything Kolo cooks for you. However, here’s the tricky part, you can’t openly reject it. Therefore, you’ll need to be creative in your removing of the meals he cooks for you.
 

You’ll Redefine What Success Is

 
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Having eight assists in 2016 is greater than winning a World Cup and a Champions League, Mario, okay?!
 

You’ll Never Walk Alone

 

 
Unless you play shit. Then you’re fucked. Until you play well again. Football, ey, Gotze?!