Hodgson Is Doing Us All A Favour Being England Manager

You can bet Roy Hodgson was a milk monitor at school – the job nobody wanted, but one kid was delighted because they got to wear a sash and tell everybody what to do.

Now, the milk is England’s similarly watered-down hopes of victory at Euro 2016.  Hopes that only existed because they were drawn in one of the easiest groups (playing Russia and Slovakia is easy to everyone else, at least).

Now that the Three Lions have clawed their way out of Group B, only thanks to a 92nd minute goal against Wales. But for Hodgson’s ineptitude, the Slovakia game could have been very different.

When asked why he’d made six changes after a win, his response was along the lines of:

“well you’re asking me that because we drew, but if we’d won you’d say ‘well done Roy’”.

Yes, really, that was his answer. No, nobody is going to say ‘well done Roy’, because England didn’t win. Again.

The real question that needs to be asked is ‘Why Hodgson is even England manager in the first place?’.

The simple answer is because Fulham once fluked their way to the Europa League final when he was in charge, and someone at the FA clearly watched it.

Now in fairness, being England manager is an incredibly difficult job. Imagine how hard it must be taking 11 prima donnas – who don’t really care – on a glorified school trip to France for an entire month! It would also help if England actually had any world-class players, but that’s a discussion for another day.

So it seems the only reason Hodgson is in charge is because nobody else wanted the job – except Harry Redknapp, who England have never, ever wanted as manager (but that hasn’t stopped ‘Arry throwing stones at the FA’s windows late at night).

There’s already talk that Hodgson will be dispensed off after the Euros, but the only problem is that there’s literally nobody to take over. They’ll probably just do away with football altogether before they give it to Sam Allardyce, though.

The only conclusion to draw from all this is that Hodgson, the noble Englishman that he is, has taken one for the team and sent himself over the top to spare someone else from drinking out of the poisoned chalice.

Well done Roy, well done indeed.