BREAKING! Messi sentenced to 21 months in prison

Chilcot waited seven years for his moment in the spotlight; gets overshadowed by, first, Oscar Pistorius and, then, Lionel Messi. 

What an unbelievable day of news!

Barcelona’s golden child has been sentenced to 21 months in jail, alongside his dad, for tax evasion. However, and here’s the kicker, the recently retired Argentina international, firstly, won’t get a criminal record and, secondly, Messi won’t even have to go to prison.

Yep, it is bizarrely true. Under the clearly bullocks and redundant legal system in Spain, people who are sentenced to under two years in prison for their first offence, won’t do the time or have a black mark on their record.

Not that having a criminal record would have hindered Messi’s chances of getting any future work. Can you just imagine ol’ Lionel filling out an application form for Manchester City and jotting down ‘tax fraud’ under ‘Any previous criminal convictions’? Or being unable to find another football team due to his past misdemeanours, so having to seek employment under council run programmes – i.e. cutting the grass on roundabouts – to just make ends meat.