Guardiola names and shames overweight City players he has sent home

Pep Guardiola arrived in England with the reputation as a harsh taskmaster. However, that stern and strict label seems a bit over the top. It’s clear that the former Barcelona manager just expects what anyone would expect from a professional athlete: dedication, willingness and hard work.

So, you can imagine how pissed off Pep was when several of his players returned from pre-season a tad on the Andy Reid side of the scales.

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It’s no surprise to you, I’m sure, that one of the tubby bastards was Samir Nasri, a player who scores so highly on the ‘bellend’ scale.

And Pep Guardiola has gone and publicly named and shamed the former Arsenal midfielder:

“He looked like he’d been on a lads holiday with Big Sam.

“Honestly, he came into training holding a scotch egg, with crumbs around his face – crumbs that Yaya Toure later confirmed to me were that of a, something called, Ginsters Cornish pasty.

“I made the decision to leave Samir at home. I mean, we are touring China, and the temptation of chicken chow mein on every corner was going to be too much for him.

“He understood and knows what he’s got to do now. However, I do have my concerns, with Steve Bruce now unemployed and the fact that Nasri is easily led.”

Pep Guardiola

We reached out to Samir Nasri for comment. However, the Frenchman said he couldn’t do today as it’s ‘Taco Thursday’ at his favourite fast food joint. So we are just hoping it isn’t ‘Fish Friday’, tomorrow.