Wenger tried to sign Didier Drogba after MLS All-Star game

Daniel Blazer
Daniel Blazer
Daniel Blazer
Managing Editor

Despite the fact Arsenal won against the MLS All-Stars, Arsene Wenger was believed to be both concerned and angry that Didier Drogba had yet again managed to score against the Gunners.

During his time at Chelsea, Drogba was a constant thorn in the side of Wenger’s team with the various Arsenal defences he encountered, unable to deal with the strength of the Ivory Coast international.

The fact that, at 38, the former Galatasaray striker is still finding a way past Arsenal’s naive and timid defence has concerned Le Professeur.

“I can just hear the commentary now, the year is 2062, and Didier Drogba has just scored against Arsenal in the testimonial for Robert Pires’ son, making it 34 goals in 34 games for the striker against the Gunners.

“I’m certain he’ll haunt myself and the club forever. He’ll never retire.”

Arsene Wenger

“I have to admit, I’ve just come from the MLS All-Star’s changing room, where I approached Didier with the suggestion of returning to England, to London and joining us. He declined.

“No surprise, there, though; I mean, he is a loyal Chelsea hero. And I also think he knew that I had no intention of playing him, and instead was going to lock him in the Emirates Stadium dungeon with Gunnersaurus.

“I’m sick of him doing damage against us. So I just wanted to try and put an end to it.

“We won’t be returning to America whilst Drogba is here still. Enough. I just don’t know what to do. He’s destroyed Squillaci, Senderos, Silvestre and Stepanovs, all world-class defenders.”

Arsene Wenger

Someone really needs to tell the Arsenal manager to stop buying defenders whose surnames begin with ‘S’…