Man City Makes 19th Signing Of Summer

Man $hitty has continued its Summer Sixteen with spending massive amounts of cash on players in order to complete the overhaul by Pep Guardiola.

The squad has completed changed in the transfer window with City set to sign their 19th signing in the Guardiola era.

I am so happy to be joining Man City.

The amount of money I have at my disposal makes me forget how terrible Manchester actually is.

Pep Guardiola

After quite literally trimming the fat from the side and sending Samir Nasri to the Biggest Loser, Pep is looking forward to starting his Premier League season with his completely new side.

Once I arrived here, I had 5 or 6 players in mind that I wanted to sign, but the oil money just kept rolling in and I had the opportunity to buy every fucking player I wanted!

Plus, it allowed me to get rid of that shit winger, Jesus Navas, Messi’s kid can cross a ball better than him.

Pep Guardiola

The signings of Nolito, Leroy Sané, Alexander Zinchenko, Aaron Mooy, and Ilkay Gundogan will now be joined by Lionel Messi, Marco Reus, Manuel Neuer, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Mats Hummels.

With no transfer limit, Guardiola has given the middle finger to FIFA and their damn transfer sanctions.

Who said money couldn’t buy happiness?