5 pairs of football boots you wouldn’t take home to your mother

It is no secret that football boots got shite after 2010. Football boots used to be tasteful. They used to be smart. Now, if you showed me a pile of human faeces and the latest design off the production line, I’d be unable to tell the difference.

You can keep your carbon fibre. You can keep your ‘100grams per boot’. And as for your florescent pinks and yellows, well, they can fuck right off to where they came from. They have no place here.

Design departments the world over, hang your collective heads in shame. Let us cast our minds back to yesteryear…