Chelsea new boy dishes out sex advice to fan on Twitter

Well, it was fun whilst it lasted. But it is with deep regret that I inform you that Chelsea are back to being a Premier League powerhouse and are no longer a laughing stock.

Although the Blues weren’t exactly dominating against West Ham, there were plenty of signs to show that Antonio Conte will have them up and running like they did in the Mourinho glory days very soon.

The Hammers will curse losing a point to Diego Costa’s late strike because the Spanish international obviously shouldn’t have been on the pitch. However, it was the very least that Chelsea deserved from their opening game.

There has been talk all summer that Costa would be making a return to Atletico Madrid, due to his frustrations at the rep he has picked up in England. Never mind that it’s proper laugh out loud stuff that the 27-year-old doesn’t feel his rep as an utter prick isn’t justified ??. And that speculation only heightened when Michy Batshuayi joined from Marseille during Euro 2016.

It is clear, due to various Ade Akinbiyi-esque performances that the Belgium international put in during the summer tournament, that Conte was signing the 22-year-old to learn from Costa rather than replacing him.

Given the fact that the man who bagged 17 Ligue 1 goals last season is Costa’s young Padawan learner, you have to assume that Costa is teaching him about life off the field, too.

Sound advice from the Chelsea summer signing. Although we’ve all been there, a moment of pure football-based euphoria where we’ve wanted to rock out with our ? out.