Aaron Ramsey to AC Milan
Aaron Ramsey to AC Milan for 40m sounds like one of those Facebook posts where you use your name and birthday to make up a transfer
— ™ (@TheFalseNein) August 31, 2016
The Welsh Jack Wilshere has always been pitted against the English Aaron Ramsey, with Rambo emerging victorious with Jack Wilshere heading off to Serie A on loan with AS Roma. Therefore, it makes no good damn sense that Arsene Wenger would be willing to let one of the stars of Euro 2016 leave, too.
Believability rating: more likely that Wenger invites Jose Mourinho for afternoon tea.
Morgan Schneiderlin to Tottenham Hotspur
Right, so let’s get this straight, Spurs are clearly looking for pace and/or creativity on Deadline Day – hence rumours of Isco and Moussa Sissoko. But no, out of nowhere, they’re looking at another defensive-midfielder, despite having Mousa Dembele, Victor Wanyama and Eric Dier?.
Believability rating: more chance of Sepp Blatter letting someone know they’ve dropped a fiver, rather than pocketing it himself.
David Luiz to Chelsea
David Luiz to Chelsea?!!! pic.twitter.com/peRxugeqmt
— Castro1021 (@Castro1021) August 30, 2016
Okay, this one is actually more than a rumour. But, my word, what on earth are the Blues playing at?!
Believability rating: Even when it happens, we still won’t bloody believe it!
Bojan to Celtic
This summer @BoKrkic was coveted by Celta, R . Sociedad, Valencia, Celtic,
Guangzhou Evergrande, Shanghai Greenland. Staying put though
— Guillem Balague (@GuillemBalague) August 31, 2016
Celta Vigo? Hmm, okay, not too sure about that. But maybe Bojan wants a return to Spain.
Ahh, Real Sociedad and Valencia, that’s more the calibre I expected to see.
The Chinese clubs make sense, after all, everyone is going there. Wouldn’t have been surprised.
Hang on?! Celtic?! Have a day off, mate???!
Believability rating: more chance of Brendan Rodgers never saying that his team showed ‘great character’ ever again.
Gnabry to Bayern Munich via Werder Bremen
— 100% Fichajes Fútbol (@FichajeGoleador) August 31, 2016
Sorry, what?! The nonsense of this rumour reached the point where Twitter had convinced itself that Bayern were giving Bremen the €7million to buy Gnabry from Arsenal. And then there was an agreement between the two Bundesliga clubs that Bayern would buy Gnabry next summer from Bremen for €7million.
Right, yeah, okay, pal…
Believability rating: Cristiano Ronaldo gives Lionel Messi a birthday card.