World Cup Qualifying: The Return Of Dos A Cero

Mapfre Stadium in Columbus, Ohio is the USMNT’s version of the Alamo. It’s an American stronghold that is called upon in times of need in order to get the W against the invading Mexican National Team.

The USMNT has never lost in Columbus in 11 games at the Crew Stadium with a record of 8-0-3; we simply don’t lose in Columbus.

The CONCACAF Hexagonal, or qualifying for the 2018 World Cup, starts this fall and the US hosts Mexico in the second round of games at no other than Mapfre Stadium. Why fuck with fate?

Here’s the lineup that should be starting in the Hexagonal for the USMNT:

When the USMNT plays in Columbus, you best believe that Dos a Cero (or 2-0) is on every American’s mind. On 8 different occasions, the US has beaten Mexico on a two-nil scoreline in games ranging from friendlies to the 2002 World Cup. That scoreline is ours.

The Mexican national team is struggling after facing a disappointing summer where so much hope and excitement for the Copa America turned to shit when Chile pillaged their backline and goal for 7 in the quarterfinals.

Eduardo Vargas and company ignored Mexico saying Uncle and continued to beat down the CONCACAF giant.

Now, Juan Carlos Osorio is dealing with the embarrassment of defeat as and is on thin ice – another edition of Dos a Cero and the Mexican coach might be out of a job.

With one of the strongest rosters in North America, playing Mexico is not going to be an easy task, but taking care of business in Columbus is an American duty for these players like watching American football on Sundays, paying taxes, and obligatorily drinking shitty American beer.

Cheers, Bud Light.

Jurgen Klinsmann has a task with the USMNT, but recent results have the team playing cohesively, meaning that a win against Mexico in the Hex should be doable.

With Christian Pulisic and Sacha Kljestan in the lineup with a rejuvenated Jozy Altidore, who knows, we might actually finish top of the qualifying table (as we fucking should).

Maybe Klinsmann should bring Landon Donovan into the roster for solidarity, he just loves playing against Mexico.

The US has a date with history in Columbus. Be ready Mexico, Columbus isn’t falling like the Alamo.