Why I Hate Alexi Lalas

I find hate to be a very strong word that should only be applied in certain circumstances. For example, I hate Tottenham, loud chewing, and Wenger’s miserly ways. It is rare that a really hate a person, but I can honestly say I hate Alexi Lalas. 

Lalas is an embarrassment to America and commentating as a whole.

First off, he’s unAmerican and bitter.

During the broadcast for the 2014 World Cup, he was being a such a hater on the USMNT and giving no love to his country.

As Americans, we take that shit seriously. Not loving America is as good as treason.

He’s the unAmerican version of Donald Trump. He runs his mouth and doesn’t know what the fuck he’s saying.

Yes, we realize that you played for the USMNT four score and seven years ago, but that doesn’t mean you should let your bitterness affect your opinions on the national team.

You played in a time where soccer wasn’t that big, so you didn’t get the notoriety. Oh fucking well. You’re not God’s gift to commentating either, so please don’t act like it.

He’s second class on a second class soccer network in FoxSports. Thankfully, he left ESPN and now they have former players like Michael Ballack, Steve McManaman, and people that actually know the game.

Let FoxSports have him. Unfortunately, he’s on every match day of the Champions League, but the pregame and halftime shows are easy enough to skip.

He reeks of a superiority complex while he sits on his throne of lies. He’s confusing the American public and makes American soccer look bad.

He’s infecting the masses.

Plus, he’s ginger. I know you’re not supposed to judge people on physical attributes that can’t be changed, but it’s the only thing I can attribute to his soulless behavior. Otherwise, he’d just be an asshole.