Brendan Rodgers’ latest deluded comments will have you in stitches

Ben Mountain
Ben Mountain
Ben Mountain
Contributor

Tuesday night saw one of Scottish football’s proudest moments. With Brendan Rodgers at the helm, Celtic oversaw a memorable 3-3 draw with English giants, Manchester City. But now, as if to rally the roaring of bagpipes in Glasgow, Rogers has come out with a bold few statements.

“There’s no doubt Celtic are a major threat to nearly every English club.

If Celtic were in England, they would be in the top four/top six clubs there…

There has to be opportunities for clubs like Celtic – one of the great clubs of world football – to play in this competition and the competition is better for a club like Celtic being in it.”

Have a day off, mate.

The Irishman had us all laughing with that one. Although, you do have to praise his much revered character and fair play to the bloke; a positive mental attitude has never hurt anyone. But, come on, Celtic in the top four? Celtic above clubs like Chelsea, Tottenham and Liverpool? The word bollocks springs to mind.

But that’s not the worst part. Rodgers genuinely believes having the Scots play south of the border would improve the English game. Newcastle and Carlisle is far north enough for most English fans and let’s be honest – what do they really add to our game anyway?

To the English reading this, how many of you would venture on inevitably cold, Tuesday nights into that unknown land of haggis and Irn Bru? Regardless of the fact none of us would feel at home surrounded by the seemingly foreign language and culture, not to mention Trainspotting scenes flashing before our eyes every minute, but think practically about it. For example, should Bournemouth face Celtic when Rodgers’ master-plan no doubt comes through, they will be 450 miles away – stadium to stadium. To put that into context, they would have to suffer a 20 hour round trip on the train to watch 90 minutes of fairly average football. And should Plymouth Argyle rise back up through the footballing ranks, they’d have to endure 26 hours there and back. And we complain about the trip to the bar…

But ignoring this, Rodgers continued…

“If you are another club playing in that league or Championship, or League One, would you want that type of threat coming in? I don’t think you’d want it and that’s the reality.”

‘That type of threat’ has Kolo Toure as their most foremost player, Brendan. And he’s only famous for the song.

It makes you wonder what the former Liverpool gaffer thinks when he comes up with some of the crap he spouts. We can only hope someone helps him stop it. The man’s a compulsive liar… Here’s Brendan’s biggest boo-boos:

1)

“I’ve always worked along with the statistic that if you can dominate the game with the ball you have a 79% chance of winning the game.”

Not a statistic, fella. It’s called bullshit.

2)

“I started coaching for one reason and that was to make a difference for people, not just as footballers but as human beings.”

St Brendan is looking to join Mother Teresa herself in the divine world of sainthood, clearly.

3)

“I use a quote with the players,’Per aspera ad astra’, which is Latin for ‘through adversity to the stars’.”

Not only is this contrived and sickly, it’s also untrue. Sources say Brendan actually says “Im ‘sermo stercore”.

We’ll let you translate that one for yourselves.

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