Ryan Giggs’ Swansea interview manuscript has been leaked

Daniel Blazer
Daniel Blazer
Daniel Blazer
Managing Editor

Ryan Giggs was overlooked for the Swansea City manager’s job, with the Welsh outfit opting to hire Lord Voldermort over the Manchester United legend.

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The one-club man’s links to the Premier League club’s vacancy, brought about a mixed reaction from ‘oh great, another self-entitled former pro not making his way up the footballing ladder’ to ‘could be a smart move from the Swans’.

It has been revealed that Giggsy missed out on the job due to a combination of a lack of experience and not really convincing the Swansea owners and board that he was the man to bring back the enjoyable years of Brendan Rodgers.

Because we, at CLICKON Soccer, are – in your words – ‘stealing a living, not doing a real job, fucking shit’ – we decided to imagine what actually went on when the Wales legend rocked up at the Liberty Stadium.

Seriously, though, you won’t believe some of the Manchester United players still playing!

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Swansea chief, Huw Jenkins: “Ryan, please sit down. And stop running round the room waving your shirt above your head. We want to hear your thoughts on what you’ll do with the youth players at Swansea?”

Ryan Giggs: “Did you see the chest hair? Vintage, isn’t it? Us Giggs’ have a great family line of hair; thick, luxuriant and a real natural gloss.”

Swansea chief, Huw Jenkins: “Yes, Ryan; very nice. But please do begin.”

Ryan Giggs: “Basically, what I’ll do, is I’ll just tell them that instead of being in this year’s class – 2016 – I’ll tell them it’s actually 1992 and they’re in the class of ’92. That should instantly work. They’ll be great then.”

Swansea chief, Huw Jenkins: “Erm…right…yes, okay; I see what you’re getting at. And what about transfer policy? We do have some funds, but we need to make sure we are cost effective. Who would you like to try and bring in?”

Ryan Giggs: “Already sorted. Got Scholesy in the car waiting for me to give him the go ahead. He loves coming out of retirement. Did you know he can hit a tree at United’s training ground whilst doing his weekly shop in Lidl, some 32 miles away?”

Swansea chief, Huw Jenkins: “Ryan would you please, for the love of God, sit down…and put the shirt back on. I won’t tell you again…Right, where were we? And backroom staff, what you saying about that?

Ryan Giggs: “Rhodri will be my assistant manager.”

Swansea chief, Huw Jenkins: “Rhodri? Sorry, Ryan, do you mean your brother?”

Ryan Giggs: “Yeah, thing is, mum is proper upset about us falling out about the whole me being the better-looking and more famous brother, so I promised her I’d try and patch things up with Rhodri. This would help keep the old dear off my back.”

Swansea chief, Huw Jenkins: “Ok, I’ve heard enough. Thank you for your time but I don’t think we will be pursuing your application.”

Ryan Giggs: “But, I’m Ryan Giggs.”

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