Cristiano Ronaldo unhappy with Kroos deal, forces new contract

Cristiano Ronaldo is the highest paid athlete in the world, a specimen that would rival Hercules in physical appearance, the poster boy of metrosexuality, and a damn good father. What more could he want? 

That’s a ridiculous question, obviously more of everything.

With Toni Kross signing a new mega deal with the Spanish giants, Cristiano Ronaldo can only assume that he wants a new contract to be paid that much more than everyone else.

Kroos’s new contract will keep him at the Bernabeu until 2022 where he will be earning a whopping $22 million a year, making him the highest paid German in the history of the game. Now, I see why Mesut Ozil wants to make his return to Real Madrid, imagine what he’d be getting paid.

Immediately following the signing of the contract, Cristiano Ronaldo was on the phone crying to his agent Jorge Mendes while sitting in his Bugatti. Ronaldo was a little angry and felt left out by the Real Madrid brass.

Here’s the transcript from the phone conversation between the two:

CR7: *Crying*

JM: What’s wrong, Cristiano? Who hurt your feelings now?

CR7: Fioretino Perez…

JM: What did he do now?

CR7: He gave Toni Kroos a new contract before me, how can he do that? I am so pretty and faster and better than him. No one seems to get that I’m the star and I matter most.

JM: Cristiano, stop being a little bitch. You make too much money to be acting this way. Cristiano Jr. is more mature than you.

CR7: I want more money, now. Do it or I’ll fire you.

JM: I’ll talk to Fiorentino tomorrow. Does that work?

CR7: Now I don’t have to fire you. You’re welcome.

The pouting of Ronaldo and negotiating of Mendes must’ve worked as Cristiano is set to sign a new 5 year deal that will keep him at the club until 2021 where he will be making close to $26 million dollars.

He gets what he wants when he wants it and shows that acting like a toddler gets things done when you’re one of the best footballers in the world.