Newcastle and Sky Sports pundit sacked following sickening Twitter posts

Eric Bristow was an over-weight darts player. The sport whereby you stand, briefly, and swing your arm about a foot, and throw a little piece of metal about seven feet towards a big, round board.

Now, whilst we’re not actually suggesting for one moment that darts isn’t a complicated and skilled game that requires the sort of diligence and talent not found in most blokes down at the pub, pre-match on a Saturday. In fact, to be a darts player, you’d assume, requires some genuine strength in the noggin.

Eric Bristow, however, has been doing his very best to undermine this idea. The man, it would appear, woke up on Monday morning; dragged himself out from his stone bed in the sleepy town of Bedrock and hopped into his leg-powered car with ol’ Barney to go off and express his neanderthal-esque opinions on the mysterious, magical and futuristic world that is the 21st Century which has so far been lost on him.

 

 

Words cannot express the sheer idiocy and innate stupidity shown above, which makes writing about it somewhat difficult; but here goes nothing.

The man is clearly a complete spunk-trumpet of a human, wallowing around in the sort of deluded world whereby his wife is seen and not heard, races are described as ‘coloured’ or ‘white’ and Queen Victoria’s miserable mug decorates the walls of a house inhabiting real life apes. The fact that he commanded such an imperious career in darts has absolutely no outcome as to this fella’s credibility in what he says. In the 21st Century, or 20th and possibly every century before, there shouldn’t be one single person able to even formulate the barbarically stupid views that Bristow chose to enlighten the world with. Especially not one with an MBE, who is actually quite respected and revered by some, and possesses a Twitter account with over 100,000 followers.

It’s almost as if he felt that he’d paled so far into an obscure insignificance since “I’m a Celebrity”, that he thought hopefully no one would pay attention to his impulsive shit spurts of moronic crap. Unfortunately for him, they did. Congrats! You’re back in the limelight, geez. Oh, hang on. He’s not actually. Sky Sports have chosen to sack the complete ball bag; no doubt to be replaced by a younger, more current presenter than he. A nice neo-Nazi, perhaps.

 

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And, Newcastle have followed suit by canceling Bristow’s appearance at St James Park on; ‘An Evening with Darts Legends’, which was meant to be happening this December.

Now, it’s not our place to point our the inherently flawed ideology behind his tweets, hopefully you can work that our for yourselves, but it’s the sheer ignorance and bigotry of them that is so shocking.

The idea that the footballers who are courageous enough to publicly open up about possibly the most traumatic experiences imaginable in order to help those not yet able to do so are “wimps” and not “proper men”, is absurd in the least. But Eric “Punch ya Lights Out” Bristow, clearly is a proper man. He and the “tough guy” darts players are “brought up” to “sought” the kind of “poof” that abuses powerless and young children, out. They aren’t, evidently, brought up to spell, punctuate, articulate, or in fact voice themselves in any way that doesn’t need deciphering by an 11 year old delinquent, either. We hope you’ve noticed by now that the word “poof” was in fact meant to be “peado”, which must be up there with the easiest derogatory typos that you can make. It’s like typing “ducking hell”, for example. Poor old Eric probably just isn’t down enough with the kids to understand bloody modern technology. Or sensitivity, professionalism and basic human empathy for that matter, either. In fact, upon reflection, Eric probably doesn’t understand much beyond counting up to 180 and expressing his great-grandfather’s opinions like a deranged, tweeting germ.

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But, don’t worry. Like all respected sports personalities, Bristow has done the right thing by remorsefully and publicly apologising for his mis-interpreted and inappropriate tweets:

ha ha. What a wanker.

 

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