Golf on Seinfeld: From JFK’s clubs to Stan the Caddy

The greatest sitcom of all time, Seinfeld, has some notable intersections with “a good walk spoiled.” And it’s mostly thanks to the quintessential “hipster doofus,” Cosmo Kramer, that “golf on Seinfeld” is a thing.

Almost every storyline related to the game has to do with Jerry’s neighbor. Interestingly, the sports-related angles concerning Jerry and George most often center around a game played with a slightly bigger ball: baseball.

The good folks at Golf Compendium have rounded up all significant mentions of golf from the show’s nine seasons. Here are the most notable examples. Read on to find out why a certain Fairhaven, Massachusetts, company ought to send Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David a royalty check.

Season 3, Episodes 17 (The Boyfriend)

While better remembered for the cameo by a player of a different game, the Mets’ Keith Hernandez, we first learn of Kramer’s penchant for golf in this episode. He discusses the state of his game in a call with a friend (using Jerry’s phone, of course).

Season 4, Episode 7 (The Bubble Boy)

Kramer gets his hand on some Cuban cigars during the fourth season. While much hilarity stems from this fact, Kramer trades the pro at Westchester Country Club some of the smokables for playing privileges.

Season 5, Episode 14 (The Marine Biologist)

Kramer acquires 600 Titleist golf balls and, of course, decides to go to the beach to hit them into the ocean. A ball ends up stuck in a whale’s blowhole, suffocating the beast, until George, roped into pretending to be a marine biologist, is forced to extricate the ball from the whale. Doubtless the most well-known instance of “golf and Seinfeld.”

Season 6, Episode 2 (The Big Salad)

In a situation that would make the USGA proud, Kramer is engaged in a heated rules dispute with baseball player Steve Gendason. Gendason later commits murder and Kramer blames himself for causing Gendason to explode.

Season 7, Episode 12 (The Caddy)

Stan the Caddy again factors into this episode, now training Kramer to make a run at the Champions Tour (there’s no way Kramer was 50, but still). Stan goes from “golf caddie” to “life caddie” as Kramer begins to defer decisions to the looper.

Season 7, Episode 21/22 (The Bottle Deposit)

Elaine gets in a bidding war with Sue Ellen Mischke at an auction house for a set of golf clubs once owned by John F. Kennedy. Elaine ends up putting the clubs in Jerry’s trunk, and when the car is stolen, they are jettisoned onto the highway and run over (by Newman and Kramer).