Absolute snakes, the pair of them – it’s a surprise that they don’t represent the Manchester City pair, Raheem Sterling and Fabian Delph – however, there’s no denying that Mino Raiola and Jorge Mendes are the best at doing what they do.
If the pair weren’t such a soul sapping and morally corrupt duo, it would be great to get a Raiola clients XI versus a Mendes one. But until then, you’ll just have to make do with the combined XI below.
David de Gea – Mendes
Poor sod deserves a break from having Phil Jones and Marcos Rojo in front of him
Victor Lindelof – Mendes
There's suddenly a lot of Red Devils pretending they a) even knew who the Benfica defender was and b) pretending that he's the answer to all of Jose Mourinho's problems.
Ezequiel Garay – Mendes
Absolute Football Manager legend.
Gregory van Der Wiel – Raiola
Big props to anyone who actually knew GvdW had left PSG.
Blaise Matuidi – Raiola
Upstaged Pogba in Euro 2016. The missing piece for a lot of Premier League teams?
Paul Pogba – Raiola
Only got in because neither Raiola or Mendes represent Joe Allen.
Renato Sanchez – Mendes
Angel di Maria – Mendes
Manchester United must regret not giving this guy more of a chance.
Henrikh Mkhitaryan – Raiola
Thankfully, no longer a pawn in Jose's manipulation games.
Cristiano Ronaldo – Mendes
Mendes bestest bud.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic – Raiola
It's either impressive that Ibra is spearheading United at 35 or totally tragic for the Red Devils that they are so reliant on the Swede.
Corrr, that was tough; a few honourable mentions must go to AC Milan’s rising star between the sticks, Gianluigi Donnarumma, and Sporting Lisbon’s William ‘keep bottling a move to a proper league’ Carvalho.