Seven Premier League crimes that deserve suspensions

Harry Kettle

There are so many great things about football in this country that it almost seems wrong to focus on the negatives. But then, what would the world be without a balanced force? These absolute crimes against nature are sure as anything going to get your riled up just reading through this list.

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I think we all need a nice cup of tea and a lie down after that, because simply listing these atrocities has the same effect as blaring death metal into your headphones at 3am. Be smart kids – don’t be an arsehole and do one of these things.