The end is nigh, the end is nigh, grab your bloody pitchforks the end is nigh. Well, if you’re a West Ham United fan that is. The oh so wonderful Dimitri Payet is all set to pack his bags and leave the comfort of the London Stadium for pastures new, and it seems as if there are several potential destinations for the Frenchman.
As good old Dimitri takes the next step in his professional career, it’s important to remember the great things he did for the Hammers. He scored some wonderful free kicks, gave them a lovely song to sing and pretty much made it clear from the get go that he was too good for them. So you know, the classics.
Home is where the heart is, and if we're honest with ourselves we all love it deep down. For Payet, Marseille are the club that truly put him on the map as a world-class player. A return just makes sense.
We can see the headlines now: Payet cocks up spectacularly by saying he wants to "go home" and is therefore sold to former club AS Excelsior who play in Reunion - 8,798 km away from mainland France.
You just know that Wenger is foaming at the mouth over the prospect of landing Payet. He fits the bill entirely - French, skillful, can read the game brilliantly - and did we mention that he's French?
Spontaneously blowing millions on a top player isn't something City have been shy about in the past. Guardiola's men could use someone like Payet who has proven quality in the Premier League and also has a point to prove.
They've got loads of money and they play in France. So yeah.
Whilst it may be tempting for Dimitri to opt for one of the biggest clubs in the world, Atletico Madrid could be an interesting move for him.
They thrive on being the underdogs and Payet would likely tear it up in Spain given how the likes of Ronaldo and Suarez have transferred from England to La Liga.
It's been one of those rumours that pops up every now and again, because it just makes sense. Messi, Neymar, Suarez, Payet. Sign him up.
Would Payet join the list of players who have picked money over success?
Wouldn’t it be nice to be as popular as Dimitri Payet? He’s like that kid in school who nobody liked but then they found out he was stinking rich so they all offered him round to their house for tea. Either way, wherever Payet chooses to grace with his presence you can be sure that this is only the beginning of the media storm.