The England XI Southgate has to play this week

Whilst Premier League-winner and Champions League-quarter-finalist, Danny Drinkwater, invites Theo Walcott – the forward with more goals than anyone else in Gareth Southgate’s England squad – around for dinner on Wednesday and Sunday, talk turns to who the blandest man in football should play against Lithuania.

Firstly, though, the Three Lions have a pointless friendly against Germany, in which Southgate will pretend it’s a great time to try out a few things, for him to learn about his squad and, to fully complete cliché bingo, he’ll say Jermain Defoe’s inevitable brace has given him “food for thought”.

But when it comes to the actual important game, here’s the XI Southgate should play against Lithuania if he wants to provoke any kind of interest from the fans!

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The defence has no protection. But Lithuania has no attack – or midfield or defence – so no issues there.

If we don’t get the swashbuckling, expansive and exciting football a lot of these Mauricio Pochettino, Pep Guardiola and Arsene Wenger students deliver on a weekly basis for their respective clubs, then, well, you would’ve just watched another standard England game.