Tinder has developed into an ugly, unfathomable beast. Some say they use it ‘to make friends’, an intention that’s about as believable as a guy visiting Pornhub to see if the plumber can fix the boiler. Others treat it like a job interview, ahem, so I’m told.
Tinder has been replaced by several variations, which try to offer a touch of class to the illicit dating market. ‘Bumble’ occupies the matriarchy niche and eradicates the creep – only women can start the conversation – and ‘Happn’ (the location tracking app) is at worst a stalker’s utopia, and at best a chicken shit’s alternative to physically asking someone for coffee.
Playing 30 tournaments a year doesn’t give golfers the time to peruse the public space for potential partners, so they have been known to use Tinder in their spare time…
Hi there, don’t really know why I’m on here hahahaha [he lies]. I’m into fitness [fitting his c…] and love to play golf. Motto: If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best.
If we match and you’re unresponsive I will unmatch, sorry ladies but that’s my offering. I like burger joints and I’ll take you to some of my favourite spots [discrete parking lots].
Tinder Flick Rating: Very active, he managed to complete Tinder.
“Hey people, I go by DJ [winky face emoji] and I love to have a good time [skull emoji]. Love a drink and hitting the beach, always up for a laugh [Tinder speak for game].
I live life like I play my golf; hard, big and without regrets. [three skull emojis]
Tinder Flick Rating: Medium activity, spike seen between 3 and 6 AM.
Hey y’all, Christian [bible, prayer, cross emoji] – Golfer – Singer [santa emoji] – Jesus, are all things I live by. Competitive, a little zany and I play golf like I date.
Motto: And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend in the siege and straitness, wherewith their enemies, and they that seek their lives, shall straiten them. Jeremiah 19:9. You’re welcome.
Tinder Flick Rating: Moderate. Very picky, tendency to overreact in certain conversations.
I’m an Aussie who loves surfing and dressing smartly. Recently undergone a serious transition in my life [belly putter ban] and I’m just looking for someone to help me rebuild. I’ve been on the dating scene for a while and I haven’t really been true to myself, it’s been a rollercoaster of hurt and I’m just looking to settle down.
Tinder Flick Rating: Intermittent. Won’t message anyone below a 9/10.
Adrenaline Junkie who loves life. Height: 6′ 1″ – not sure why that’s important but everyone else posts it so whatever haha. No hook ups! looking for friendship and maybe [definitely] something more [blushing, embarrassed emoji]. Don’t be afraid to message and we’ll grab a red bull.
Tinder Flick Rating: Infrequent. Tendency not to message back, although he is a fan of star ratings.
Cheeky Northern Irishman. Love a drink and a kick around with my mates, although that has been known to get me into trouble lol. Buy me a Jager and I’ll love you forever! Not very good at messaging on here so text me [and I’ll call off our engagement].
Tinder Flick Rating: Offline for a while now. May have deleted the app for a second time, fortunately all his matches were still there when he rejoined a 18 months ago. Don’t give up hope though, there is still chance he will strike up a conversation in good time.