Mystery solved! The tour pro who smashed two cell phones revealed

We know inside the ropes, professional golfers aren’t always the best-behaved bunch. Outside the ropes, well, pluck the low-hanging fruit of your choice.
 

Exhibit A


 

Exhibit B


There was a small investigative frenzy in the social media sphere this morning after Ferengi golf writer Geoff Shackelford presented this tweet from Ian Poulter, which added another entry to the list of pros behaving badly.
 


 
Shackelford noted that Poulter was wise not to reveal the identity of the phone smasher, lest he catch the eye of (also a Ferengi) commissioner Tim Finchem and his meter maids.

“Who bludgeoned his bag,” golf fans wondered (because #thesethingsmatter).

Well, shortly after Shackelford posted the Poulter bit, a sleuth from the realm of all great inquiry and opinions—the comment section—pointed to this on Instagram.
 


 
Alas! The formerly mulleted Charley Hoffman was the culprit. But as he won $2.35 million on course last year (plus FedEx Cup bonus and endorsement money, obviously), he shouldn’t have trouble buying a replacement for himself and his caddie.

Or, some might argue, the caddie should have placed the phones in a more secure area. Thus, he should pay for his own replacement.

Either way, we can’t improve on this take from Pa Playa on the Shackford piece: “Too bad it wasn’t a Galaxy Note 7, then he could’ve watched his entire bag go up in flames.”