Meet the man who gets to marry the hottest woman in golf

It’s time we introduced you to the man who is about to steal Paige Spiranac from your desperate, mostly perverted hearts. Meet Steven Tinoco

What’s more nauseatingly basic than an Instagram handle that features your first and middle name (ala Paige.renee)? This guy! Presenting Steven Tinoco: A failed minor league baseball player (.266 average), currently toiling away for the vaunted Lincoln Saltdogs. Mr. Tinoco is engaged to the women adorning the wall of your 12-year-old mind.