Cover letter tips from the guy who just sent his to Rory McIlroy over Twitter

It was evident that Rory McIlroy was not himself during the PGA Championship. Jordan Spieth and Rory McIlroy were co-favorites heading into the year’s final major. Which was surprising for McIlroy since he had played poorly up until The Open, missing three cuts before the Major on his home turf.

But Quail Hollow has been like like a home-away-from-home for the four-time Major champion. He set the course record in 2011 with a 62, only to come back and beat his own record with a 61 in 2015. His four-over tournament score was less than stellar and telling that there was something more going on with his game.

After Justin Thomas won the PGA Championship, McIlroy spoke about how he has had a rib injury that has hindered him.

“Right now, I can feel my left rhomboid going into spasm,” said McIlroy after the PGA Championship. “It’s sort of the way it has been the last few weeks. I have upped my practice coming into these two events because I wanted to feel like I was in a good place in my game.

But, yeah, right now it’s a tough one because I go out there and play and shoot decent scores, but when I come off the course, I feel my left rhomboid going into spasm. Inside of my left arm goes numb.”

Aside from the rib issues, McIlroy is in search of a new caddy. He fired his long-time caddie J.P. Fitzgerald after placing T-4 in The Open. J.P.’s replacement was Rory’s close friend and best man at his wedding, Harry Diamond, for the final Major of the year. This is only a temporary fix as McIlroy will be on the hunt this offseason for a new partner in crime.

So if you want to caddie for McIlroy then you should send in your resume and qualifications, but you may have some competition with the guy I am about to show you.

Geno Bonnalie wrote to McIlroy and then proceeded to put his cover letter on the internet in hopes that he will see it. Well, Rory may not have seen it yet, but I have, along with many others. This man has some real stone putting this on the internet, so I like that about him.

Here’s are a few thing you can learn from this charismatic go-getter:

Don’t ever sell yourself short

This is cover letter 101 ladies and gentlemen, never give the person who is about to employ you a reason not to like you right off the bat. Geno, left himself out to dry by giving the places of where he and his current partner finished…and they weren’t very good.

“I’ve helped lead Joel to a solo 68th finish at the Reno-Tahoe open, T80 MDF in Puerto Rico, and also helped him make 4 consecutive birdies in the Sanderson Farms Championship.”

If you don’t have any wins to your credit, focus on the positives, like reading greens and being a personal psychiatrist like Michael Greller is for Spieth.

Don’t come off as a degenerate gambler

Geno mentions how he is a hustler on the course, not meaning he hustles to the ball but that he literally bets on your game with the opponents. That’s a little-added pressure that I certainly would not want my caddy to do unless I know my opponent is blind or flat out can’t play.

“During practice rounds I like making bets on various shots. Joel and I have a running $5 bet on any give shot, and then give odds with the degree of difficulty. I’ve made an extra $370 this year betting on 3 footers. It’s a nice little supplemental income”

Like autographs, let’s save betting for after the round.

Always good to have connections

It’s always good to be connected especially if you have met your interviewer prior to applying for said job. Geno saw an opening at the Travelers championship to offer McIlroy some refreshing water, probably knowing that he could bring that up as a connection.

“If you hire me it wouldn’t be awkward at all because we already know each other. We played in front of you on Saturday at the Travelers and during the wait on 4 tee box I asked you if you wanted a water (which you politely declined). So we’re pretty much best friends already.”

And I love the tenacity of already saying they are boys, huge power move.

Listing what you bring to the table 

If listing negatives are cover letter 101, then listing positives are cover letter 102. That’s the whole reason you write the damn letter, to make your future employer love you. And I bet Rory would actually love a caddie who could read distances for once.

“I’m really good with numbers … especially at elevation. What? You want me to take 2% off of 157 yards … BAM. 154. (do you want decimal points? I know you’re good but Joel and I usually work in whole yards.)

“Once upon a time I was one of the best Archers in the world (as a youth). so I have a weird ability to know exactly how far you are from the pin just by looking at it (inside 70 yards). So if I don’t step anything off, and tell you it’s 58 yards … it’s 58 yards.”

Have a good closing paragraph

This is what separates the boys from the men in the cover-letter game. If your reader makes it to the end, you want to not only thank them but make sure you are confident that what you just wrote was a master piece.

You do this by assuming you will have a follow-up Q&A, and make yourself look important by throwing in there that you have an agent…when really it’s just your friend answering a call on your cell phone for you saying you’re in the office.

“Anyway you probably have a lot of follow up questions you’d like to ask me. Go ahead and have your agent get a hold of my agent and I’m sure we can figure something out.”

It would be surprising if Geno doesn’t get a call-back at least, thanking him for the priceless entertainment. But don’t make Rory laugh too hard, we want those ribs to heal by 2018.