LEAKED: F1 Drivers’ Summer Holiday WhatsApp Chat

This time, the drivers are prompted by Lewis Hamilton to reveal where they have been on their summer breaks. It emerges that K-Mag and Hulk have been joined at the hip, and Kvyat’s had a shite time in a Suzuki Swift…

Warning: Article contains severe levels of ⚽️💩

Well, there you have it, from the horse’s ass. The drivers have had a long break and will start training up again for the upcoming Belgian Grand Prix. We had the opportunity to talk to Sebastian Vettel’s personal trainer, Paul Push, about the regime that the German is undergoing to hit Spa Francorchamps at peak fitness:

“Seb is on a strict diet of salty foods throughout the summer, this keeps him in attitudinal form and means that we can ensure he will be back in the cockpit, ready to go in terms of hitting that radio button and complaining over team radio.

“I’ve had him doing vigorous simulator work too. We program 46 Narain Karthikeyan HRT’s into his sim alongside the 2017 grid to work on blue flag situations. His reaction times are dropping rapidly, which is really impressive. He’s shaved off 0.2s in terms of hitting comms and whinging to the pit wall about blue flags and slower cars, but we still have an issue regarding discontinuity. He’s still calling for blue flags in situations in which he’s actually fighting for position and assumes that the Hamilton bot or Ricciardo bot should just simply move aside for his grace.

The only car he’s not complaining about is Kimi’s. We’ve added a 2017-spec to the sim software. It’s an Arrivabene patch that automatically slows Kimi down when Sebastian is within 5-seconds, which works well because we want the simulator to be of paramount accuracy.”

– Paul Push

Vettel takes on one of his trainer’s exercises, in which he has to locate a blue object that Paul has hidden in the gym in the quickest time possible after closing his eyes and counting to ten.

It was fascinating to find out the differing variables which each driver on the grid employs to their summer simulator work behind closed doors. Upon further inspection, we found out about some other sim software specifics from around the grid.

Daniil Kvyat’s simulator underwent a recent update that replaces tarmac at every circuit with a layer of ice. Jolyon Palmer’s sim is next level and implements VR, allowing a post-session mini-game in which he can actually beat up a Renault mechanic rather than just slag them off to the press. The technology being utilised to give drivers up and down the grid an accurate, borderline phantasmal simulator is simply staggering.