Following Danny Rose’s completely unnecessary rants about signing players who he doesn’t have to Google, there’s only one way that Spurs should look to announce Davinson Sanchez. The deal looks likely to go ahead after Tottenham and Ajax are believed to have agreed a fee for the Colombian defender.
If Spurs social media team don't start the Davinson Sanchez announcement video with Danny Rose googling him, they should all be fired.
— Help a Gooner (@k4yn3r) August 17, 2017
From Mohamed Salah announcing himself, to the Aston Villa WhatsApp group to announce John Terry, we’ve seen some brilliantly creative announcements from this summer’s new trend.
When the Davinson Sanchez deal goes through, we can’t expect Rose to be too unhappy at the signing, given that the 21-year-old centre-back is very highly-rated. However, as the England full-back complained about googling players – will he have even heard of the young Ajax prospect? Spurs recent signings haven’t been that bad.
Perhaps Rose just lacks football knowledge.
Daniel Levy asks Danny Rose to assist in announcing the Ajax star.
“Hi Danny, you’ll be pleased to hear that we’ve taken your complaints on board, and as one of the most influential players at the club, we have decided to go ahead and make a move for Sanchez.” – Daniel Levy
“Finally! Alexis will really make us title contenders.” – Danny Rose
“Erm, not quite. We’re fairly comfortable with our attacking options at the moment, I meant the Colombian Sanchez.” – Daniel Levy
“I’m not sure this is the type of player we should be targeting. 1. We don’t need a defensive-midfielder and 2. Why are we signing former Aston Villa players?” – Danny Rose
“When did you make yourself the Director of Football? We’re signing Davinson Sanchez – the young centre-back. Anyway. We need a hand announcing him – do you mind helping out the social media team?” – Daniel Levy
“As I said, I only want this club to sign players I don’t have to Google.” – Danny Rose
“Would you rather we announced Marcelo?” – Daniel Levy
“No. Sorry. I’ll head down to the media room now.” – Danny Rose
— McGlennan (@alan_mcglennan) August 18, 2017
Regardless of what Rose has been browsing, the announcement should definitely start in a room with a green screen – the left-back is looking disgruntled and is trying to work out where Ajax are even from (part of him is considering whether they’re perhaps a Scandinavian team).
Unaware that the social media team are already filming, the former Leeds left-back decides to do a little research, taking out his phone to ask Siri about Davinson Sanchez.
Rose assists in the new signing announcement for Twitter
“Siri, who is Davinson Sanchez?” – Danny Rose
*Beep beep* (as the request is registered)
*A figure walks in before Siri can answer.*
“Hello. I am Davinson Sanchez.” – Davinson Sanchez
The clip ends with the camera panning up to the Colombian defender in the Spurs kit as he greets the fans with a Dele Alli wave.
Given how brilliant that scenario would be, there’s no better way for Spurs to announce the signing – so hopefully they’re reading.
Of course, it maybe difficult to get Rose to agree, perhaps it can be a new clause in the contract the Spurs man wants, where he expects to be on the same amount of money as Jordi Alba.