Space Jam Monsters: Strachan Bemoans Genetics For Scottish Shame

It takes a real man to hold up their hands, and admit they were wrong. However, unlucky for Scotland, Gordon Strachan is not that man – the 60-year-old doesn’t sound like he’ll be falling on his sword, anytime soon.

The former Coventry City manager – probably the last time Strachan had any relevance or talent as a manager – has blamed Scotland’s ability to produce six-foot-six footballers-cum-NBA players as the reason for why the Tartan Army won’t be in Russia, next summer.

“We had to pick a team to combat their height and strength.

“It’s a problem for us because we have to work harder for every ball.

“Genetically, we are behind; in the last campaign we were the second smallest, apart from Spain.”

Gordon Strachan

That’s right, folks; Strachan has named Spain, one of – if not *the* – finest national sides, as a way of backing up his point.

Surely – *surely* – it isn’t lost on Strachan that the point he has made, if he wants to suggest height is intrinsically linked with success, that Scotland should arguably be the second most successful team of the last decade, behind Spain.

It’s hardly like Slovenia are pulling up trees and making waves through the international footballing world, with their Space Jam genetic freaks…

“Maybe we get big women and men together and see what we can do.

“Nobody can tell me that, apart from one player, they are technically better than our players. But, physically, we have a problem.

“We can fight it, battle it and get through games on sheer determination and work-rate and that takes a lot out of you.

“That’s what happened tonight. These guys have put so much into this. I really feel for them but they can also be really pleased.

“This group is as good as anything I’ve worked with.”

Gordon Strachan

Scotland’s issues lie in the fact their domestic league is of such a poor standard, however, it’s easier for those at fault to place the blame in areas they have no control over.