Recalling The Action: WWE Raw

Reunited, and it feels so good! Reunited ’cause we understood! There’s one perfect fit. And, Shield, this one is it.

Yes, it’s true. After the tease at the end of Raw last week, the Shield finally got the band back together in last night’s episode to take out the NFL in the ratings… sorry, we mean the Miztourage and The Bar. That sound you can hear right now is a million fanfic writers re-uploading their Shield reunion stories accompanied with the post “OMG!!!! I PREDICTED THIS!!!!”.

It’s been over three years since we last saw them back together, and probably about three years since Roman Reigns had a decent pop from the fans. Boy, he must’ve been shocked to see so many people in Indianapolis on their feet for his music. Except his music is also the Shield’s music, which shines a spotlight on how little he’s developed as a character in three years.

Whereas Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins have their own music now, their own lives away from the Shield (maybe even their own condo together, too), Reigns has still retained the Shield theme; like a sad-sack ex-boyfriend refusing to get on with his life. This isn’t us Roman-bashing though, we quite like him as a wrestler. But when the Shield eventually break-up again (and they will, sorry guys), please can he get rid of the old music and the low-budget SWAT team outfit – the guy needs to move on now.

Anyway, the reunited Shield are now set to face The Miz, The Bar and The Monster Among Men in a battle of the definite articles at TLC. Speaking of The Bar, it was great to see Cesaro back on the mic. Since his two front teeth were shoved up into his face, the Swiss Superman has been largely quiet – but he spoke last night, and with a noticeable lisp, too. Which means the countdown has begun to when this becomes a new gimmick for Thetharo. Hey, it’s still got to be better than the yodeling. Unless it’s yodelling with a lisp, that is.

The Shield reunion wasn’t the only thing on Raw last night that got social media buzzing, we also had the reveal of Sister Abigail. We say reveal, but we mean a cheap screen wipe effect. And we say Sister Abigail, but we mean Bray Wyatt in mascara and using a voice transformer…

Because yes, Bray has gone full Norman Bates in his attempt to scare Finn Bálor and we think it’s actually brilliant, despite the sheer silliness of it all. We really enjoyed the ludicrous Wyatt/Orton feud earlier this year, and we can’t wait to see some more low-budget horror tricks at TLC when the two inevitably face each other. Hopefully in some kind of Halloween costume match on the back of a ghost tractor in a spooky corn field.

And finally, the era of Enzo Amore as the WWE Crusierweight champion is inexplicably over after only a few weeks. We’ve really been enjoying the newest genre of wrestling: the entire 205 Live roster versus Enzo. But last night, Kalisto won the title from him in a decent lumberjack match, with the other crusierweights acting as the lumberjacks. Or should that be limberjacks?

We expect to know more after 205 Live tonight about this sudden title switch. Or at least, we except to hear Enzo talking about it. A lot.

Notes

  • Titus “Worldwide” O’Neill playing a banjo – nope.
  • Mickie James is 38. Please stop saying she’s old, it’s kind of depressing.
  • Michael Cole repeatedly forgetting how elimination matches work was a thing of beauty.
  • Emma is going to face Asuka at TLC, which is probably the most predictable squash match in the history of this industry.
  • Think about this: Kurt Angle signed Kalisto to a 205 Live contract. But Kalisto was previously on Raw, for which Angle is also the GM of, so he effectively signed Kalisto from himself. That’s some serious ‘playing multiplayer Football Manager on your own’ s**t going on right there, Kurt.